With Fathers' Day coming up this Sunday (6/9), you can't go past that champagne form of comedy - Dad Jokes!
The 'Dad Joke' is a unique form of humour, carefully crafted and marked by three distinctive features: (1) They're not funny in the first place, (2) They become even less funny with endless repetition, and (3) Endless repetition is what gives them legendary groan status!
One theory about their importance is that young people naturally look up to their fathers and see them as a font of wisdom and authority. The 'Dad Joke' is an important part of the process of separation, whereby the child realises that the father is a real person, with flaws and imperfections - He thinks he's funny, but he just isn't!
"That's the dead centre of town" (When driving past a cemetery)
"People are dying to get in there" (See above)
"It's a book" (when given what is clearly a bottle of wine for Christmas)
Q: Why did the sand get wet
A: Because the sea-weed.
I was talking to a young friend the other day and he told me what the best present was; he said it was a broken drum. I said: "What?" His response: "Well you can't beat it can you?"
A sausage and an egg are frying away in a pan together, when the egg turns to the sausage and says "getting a bit warm in here..." The sausage looks over and says "ARRGH!!! A talking egg!"
When asked: "What's on the TV?" Dad replies: "A pot plant and a DVD player."
When someone says "I'm Thirsty" Dad replies: "Hello Thirsty, I'm Friday."
"I feel like a drink"
"You don't look like one!"
A man who hasn't slept for three days has been charged with resisting 'arrest.'
When phone ringing Dad says 'If it's for me - don't answer it.'
You can't run through a camp site. You can only ran, because it's past tents.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant
Me: How is that water?
Dad: Wet.
Me: I feel like a sandwich
Dad: Funny, you don't look like one!
"I thought about going on an all-almond diet - But that's just nuts."
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
After a large meal Dad says:
"Well that was nice, now, what's for dinner?"
'Dad, are we going straight home?'
'No son, we're going to turn some corners'
How do you count cows? With a cowculator!
It's gratifying to know that the funniest joke award of this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival went to a Dad Joke: "I just deleted all the German names off my phone....
It's Hans free."
