Sunday, September 19, 2021
Wednesday, September 15, 2021
The Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah is a time to blow the Shofar, a ram’s horn, and celebrate with apple and honey for a sweet New Year. Ten days later the sombre day of atonement, Yom Kippur, is a day of fasting and repenting for your sins of the previous year.
This song is called BOOK OF LIFE
Monday, September 13, 2021
In the days before radar, sailing ships were guided across the billowing seas and dangerous rocky shores by the steady beam of lighthouses built strategically along the coast. As the Waifs’ awesome song proclaims:
“Lighthouse tall and grand, standing on that cold headland. Shine your light across the sea; for a wayward sailor girl like me. Lighthouse man, guide this sailor back to land. Steer my ship on through the storm; back to water safe and calm.”
The Psalmist says: “ Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path…”
Jesus said of himself: “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
Over these last many months, we’ve sailed some troubled seas, haven’t we? Often we’ve lost sight of shore. Often we’ve feared foundering on the rocky coast. What have been the scriptures; the bible passages that have been your Lighthouses — that have brightly lit the way through the darkness, that have guided your small ship through the storms?
In this weekly Sunday series, a number from our church community share, reflecting on a Scripture that have been significant for them.
After each weekly reflection, you are encouraged you to then go and re-read that scripture, and discuss the passage in your Connect groups or at home.
(1) How would you paraphrase the passage?
(2) What does it teach you about God?
(3) What do you learn about how we should live and act? (4) What practical difference will it make to you this week?
Friday, September 03, 2021
The 'Dad Joke' is a unique form of humour, carefully crafted and marked by three distinctive features: (1) They're not funny in the first place, (2) They become even less funny with endless repetition, and (3) Endless repetition is what gives them legendary groan status!
One theory about their importance is that young people naturally look up to their fathers and see them as a font of wisdom and authority. The 'Dad Joke' is an important part of the process of separation, whereby the child realises that the father is a real person, with flaws and imperfections - He thinks he's funny, but he just isn't!
"That's the dead centre of town" (When driving past a cemetery)
"People are dying to get in there" (See above)
"It's a book" (when given what is clearly a bottle of wine for Christmas)
Q: Why did the sand get wet
A: Because the sea-weed.
I was talking to a young friend the other day and he told me what the best present was; he said it was a broken drum. I said: "What?" His response: "Well you can't beat it can you?"
A sausage and an egg are frying away in a pan together, when the egg turns to the sausage and says "getting a bit warm in here..." The sausage looks over and says "ARRGH!!! A talking egg!"
When asked: "What's on the TV?" Dad replies: "A pot plant and a DVD player."
When someone says "I'm Thirsty" Dad replies: "Hello Thirsty, I'm Friday."
"I feel like a drink"
"You don't look like one!"
A man who hasn't slept for three days has been charged with resisting 'arrest.'
When phone ringing Dad says 'If it's for me - don't answer it.'
You can't run through a camp site. You can only ran, because it's past tents.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant
Me: How is that water?
Me: I feel like a sandwich
Dad: Funny, you don't look like one!
"I thought about going on an all-almond diet - But that's just nuts."
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
After a large meal Dad says:
"Well that was nice, now, what's for dinner?"
'Dad, are we going straight home?'
'No son, we're going to turn some corners'
How do you count cows? With a cowculator!
It's gratifying to know that the funniest joke award of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival a few years back went to a Dad Joke: "I just deleted all the German names off my phone....
Monday, August 23, 2021
Thursday, May 27, 2021
From midnight Thursday 27th of May, the State of Victoria will be in COVID Lockdown. That has implications for our activities as a church community.
- Our face-to-face programmes will be suspended until further notice. That includes our Sunday gatherings, and all the programmes organised through the week.
- Some of these meetings (such as Connect Groups) may choose to organise a Zoom meeting or similar online meeting - check with your leader about that.
- The Church office and building will be closed - but you can still contact us or find out what is happening via our church mobile phone, email, website, Diamo-News or Facebook pages. (If the phone line is unanswered or busy, please leave a message or text message)
- You can keep up-to-date on the restrictions what you are permitted to do by checking the Victorian government website: HERE We will post information about when our programmes are back on.
- As we did for most of 2020, Diamo Online will be available to participate in 10am Sundays — https://dvbc.online.church
- All of our church videos (including many previous services and sermons) can be found on our Youtube page: HERE
- Care for each other! Take the time to think about how you can care for and pray for those in your neighbourhood and in your church circle. Especially those who might be living by themselves. Send them a text message or phone them and ask them how they are doing.
- Keep in Touch! If you are part of a smaller group that or programme that usually meets regularly - why not organize a Zoom meeting or WhatsApp chat to encourage each other.
- Pray for one another! We will be starting our series on Prayer Sunday week (either online e or face-to-face) So keep praying and praising in the midst of everything! “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thess 5:16-18)