Braced myself for the trip to the airport remembering the nightmare of 2005....
Let me give you a flashback moment to this time last year....
FRIDAY 21st January 2005
Last day in L.A. today. Spent last night washing some clothes and cramming the 50 tonnes of lollies and books into my suitcases. Books weigh much too much!!
We finished class by lunchtime, said our teary heart-wrenching farewells (sorta!) and the Brian (who lives in Auckland), Andrew (Camberwell) and me had lunch at a pizza joint to talk about how we would help each other this year. We are what they call a ‘cohort’ and are supposed to do our assignments together this year. They put us all together because we all live down under so its easier to catch up.
We mentioned to the waitress that we were having a last ‘meal’ here because we were flying out and airline food is gross! “I know, she said, “ It’s just awful, inedible plastic trash – when I fly I always taker a stash of MacDonald’s on board.” Macdonald’s??? Nice girl, just not very bright.
I had booked the PrimeTime shuttle-bus for 2pm – to take us the 40minute trip to LA Airport (LAX). I remembered last year’s chaos all too well. Andrew (Who is flying home with me) thought that was much too early. He hates sitting at LAX even though he is a Qantas club member and gets free food, drink and nice seats while he waits. “ Change it to 4pm, that’ll be plenty , they can’t muck it up two years running.” Hmmm!
4.45pm – “ Should we check on the Shuttle, Martin?” It was getting late and dark (Winter here). We rang the company who then said to hold whilst they paged the Shuttle. As I was holding – on my mobile – the van pulled up with a jerk, and a Manuel look alike with an Arabic accent got out. “ Ayiyi! The traffic! And I had to drop off a pick-up in West LA…”
5.30pm Sitting in smoggy peak hour , not moving much traffic on the freeway. “ They call zees a freeway, eet ees more like a parking lot! Ha!” snorted Manuel.
It turned out Manuel was an Iraqi Jew with Israeli and USA citizenship; three kids at college and lots of loud opinions about world politics “They call this a democracy, ha! Ze president talks about freedom and supporting freedom for all people – but who do they support in the middle east? The Saudis! The Kuwaitis! They do trade with the Chinese! They toppled the democratically elected Allende regime in South America because they didn’t like it ….” He actually was very astute, just very unsettling having him facing us gesticulating wildly with his hands whilst driving outrageously fast when the traffic flows allowed it!
We heard his HQ paging him to ask him when he was picking up the pasadena customer, because ‘customer’s had complained that the shuttle was late’.
6pm Somewhere in South LA – picked up an irate woman who has a flight leaving at 6.30pm.
Megen Solomon. Professor at LA University in Choral music. Conducts something like the Boston National Choral Society… something. She’s named after a lagoon on the Virgin Islands where her parents went on their honeymoon! Interesting what you learn running 3 hours late on an LA freeway!
7pmWe’re heading into darkest deepest LA down town for someone else to pick up. The driver has given us the street directory and told us to find the roads and direct him. I’m having a definite Fawlty towers experience here as he reproofs us for getting it wrong. We’re poured over the map, the three of us desperately looking for the address, apologising for our feeble incompetence. Customers!
7.30pm Traumatized and shell shocked we arrive at LAX! “At least we’ll get an aisle or exit row seat,” says Andrew. “ I’m a Qantas Club Member, I get preference, and I’ll get you a good seat too.”
8.30pmThere are no good seats left. We will sit squashed like sardines for eight hundred hours back to Melbourne. I can almost feel the clots forming!
FLASHBACK FADES OUT...
This year I’m sitting in the guesthouse library at 3pm waiting for the 3.30pm shuttles and dreading to think how late it might be.... 3.15pm, an Iranian with a grand moustache pokes his head around the corner... “Mr Revhead? I’m the Shuttle driver, I hope you don’t mind me being early, but I do hate getting customers held up on the freeway; here let me take your bags.” I don’t know how long I sat gaping at this angel - wow!
By the way, why do all taxi or shuttle drivers look – and sound like Manuel? Do they do a manuel-exam?
Anyway we got there in record time – AND... as I booked in, the Qantas dude happened to mention: “Now, we’ve given you an EXIT ROW WINDOW SEAT.”
Ahhhh, miracles at LA! I’ve just a excellent Mexican meal here, chatted with the guy who runs all the Macs at Latrobe Uni who’s on his way back from the MacWorld Expo at Cupertino; found a nook with a power-point; plugged in to iTunes; listening to Jim Croce; and typing away whilst watching the harried masses stream past... See you soon, dudes!
